Thursday, August 12, 2010

Homesick

Oh boy am I homesick today. You know that homesickness feeling where you just can't stop crying and you feel utterly totally miserable.. yep, thats me.   I dont like to use my blog to share stuff this personal but thats where things are at, at the moment and this is about being real.

My Dad's surgery yesterday was major, he's even part Australian now, thanks to the wonderful donation of ligament from a donor (who would have thought!).  He has had a really bad night and is being monitored by ICU.  He's a really tough cookie though and will be fighting hard to heal and get back on his feet.

My Mum is staying really positive and said she is certain today will be a much better day for him. She has wonderful support and I am ever so grateful to those people.

I am a mess.  I just want to be there, if nothing more than to give them both a hug.  This is by far the hardest time I have experienced living in another country, away from family. My eyes are like leaky taps that won't stop running.  Sadly, we aren't in a financial position for me to hop on a plane and go back and also I let something very stupid happen... my passport has expired.  So today Im sending it off to get renewed.

It has made me realise that we need to make plans to go home.  The experience of living in Australia is something I will always treasure. It has been an amazing journey. But at the end of the day, we are Kiwi and our family is important to us (more than twice a year visits).I want our children to experience the joy of having their grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncle nearby. 

Well, thats me for now... no pictures, total sad sack.. watch this space...

6 comments:

Helen said...

Hugs for you! It must be so difficult living away from your family during such a time. I'm praying for your Dad's speedy recovery, and that you will find some peace as well.

Renee said...

I do feel your pain...it is so hard. I'm not sure how long you've been here for, but we've been ex-pats for 10 years now (not always in Australia) and it just hasn't gotten any easier. Family really is #1 and you can't beat that.

I hope your Dad does have a better day today - please post about him again so that we know how he is doing.

I admire your decision to head home...and am super jealous. If anything, we just keep getting ourselves more and more embedded in ex-pat life...our next move is unlikely to be "home". Sigh. But we made our bed so now we're laying in it!! Just trying to make the most of the wonderful parts of where we're living.

Simone said...

Ahhh Leonie! I'm feeling for you and I know how much it sucks to be away from family when they are going through stuff. My dad had a triple bypass last year and I was up here in Auckland; I did manage to get down and spend 3-4 days supporting my mum when he first went into hospital, but then of course had to come back and look after my brood so hubby could go to work etc; it's such an anxious time, even if you know they are in good hands, thinking of your dad who is usually so strong laid up in a hospital.
So I am sending you a bit cyber hug and wondering, if you DO return to NZ... ahem, will it be to live anywhere near AUCKLAND???
xx

Leonie said...

Thanks Helen and Simone for your kinds words.
Funny you should ask Simone but it may well be Auckland when we come back.. my family are up north and my hubby would need work somewhere north of the bombays *grin*

Lady Muck said...

Hi,

I really feel your pain. As a Kiwi expat in Switzerland I regularly have days where I cry a lot as I miss home. I want my kids to be kiwi kids, but my daughter speaks German, watches British TV and has only seen a beach a handful of times. Like you I miss the grandparents, Aunts and Uncles etc. My poor Facebook friends get updates of my crying fits regularly ;).

I really hope your dad recovers quickly and that he is much more mobile when he has :)

Take care,

LM x

Jennifer said...

Aww Leonie, I can totally understand! *HUGS* I am feeling so homesick today, as well. I'm really sad, it just came over me like a wave earlier this morning. Then I read your post and I know exactly how you feel, although having your Dad in ICU has to make it that much harder to deal with than usual homesickness! I hope your Dad is improving and that he'll be back on his feet in no time. Will say a prayer for you all.

By the way, after excitedly messaging you the other day about my scrapbooking voucher that I was given, I decided that it kind of still would be cheating on my 'no spend' commitment for the month so am making the album for my m-i-l out of the papers I have :)