Saturday, September 11, 2010

Ugh! The bad and the ugly.. warning: enter with caution

losing it.. slowly reaching the end of my tether....

image borrowed from here

I am sick.. again.. since mid June i have had two chest infections, two heavy colds and shingles... on top of this I have crappy thyroid levels and really low iron... so today I am feeling sorry for myself.

I am also have a sick 4 year old... who is also on her second (or third) chest infection and cold... and a 9 year old who is feeling yuck too.  The 4 year old has also adopted a major personality change and we are now being punished for four and a half years of a perfect little girl... although maybe she is also sick of being sick and her mum being sick too....

I am taking all the 'right' things... olive leaf, Vitamin C (the expensive gluten free variety), probiotics, asthma meds... yep, shake me and I rattle.

And just because I feel so crappy, my hubby has gone to NZ today for the weekend... lucky for some.  I have to somehow look after myself and three kids while I feel like crap. I feel really envious, resentful and annoyed... terrible aren't I.  But Im grumpy and sick, oh yeah and its that time of the month (which is probably over sharing!).

Im also homesick and feeling a bit lonely.

I am wondering through all this what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Its hard to think clearly when you feel like your brain is pouring out your nose or when you cough it feels like your lung is jumping out of your chest. But Im sure this is a lesson and I will grow from it... eventually.

Yes, I am trying hard to put it into perspective. I feel so much guilt feeling sorry for myself because there are always people in far worst circumstances. But for today, I am going to let myself wallow in self pity.

So Im going to drag my sorry butt to the kitchen to cook the kids some nice healthy (not) pies for dinner.... I see a weekend of easy meals ahead... oh the mummy guilt!!!!

I will probably delete this post because I dont like posting about the crappy times and when I feel better I will look at it and groan. But there you have it - the bad and the ugly.

* dont forget to enter my giveaway here.. I promise it will come without free of bugs and irritability.


lee said...

i feel for u, we have had nothing but bugs in our house too! i suffer terrible iron level problems, i have found a supplement called spatone, which is liquid in a wee sachet, it has made me feel way better.

Renee said...

Oh, you poor thing!!! You have every right to be wallowing in self pity, it sounds like it has been a rough week/month/couple of months.

It is lonely over here...I'm only an email away if you're ever desperate for a kiwi accent and a coffee somewhere around our "neighbourhood". (Oh, and I promise I'm not a crazy person or anything...).

Lisa said...

I am feeling for you too. I am couching hard out here as well. Miss N has caught what Miss b had and now it seems to have been passed to Mumma. I am hoping the temps stay away though.
Im thinking that the holidays is too far away for our catch up. Wanna try for Thursday???

meghan said...

A refreshingly honest post, and we ALL have days and times like this! To say we don't would be lying!

It is a shame that we have to feel so guilty (and I know I do too!) when we don't feel on top form. Because it is impossible to fake your feelings. Having said that if we didn't go through the tough times, we wouldn't know how it felt to be so happy when we come out the other side and are smiling again.

We had a patch like that back in June, and after a whole month of us all feeling miserable and sick, I said stuff it and we had a mid-winter Christmas party (in fact it's on the blog!) to lift our spirits. Which it did hugely.

Not saying you have to go to those lengths but maybe doing something spontaneous and fun together(to the extent you have the energy to) would help emotionally even if it can't fix the physical stuff...

Anyway, just to let you know I'm thinking of you.

Leonie said...

Thank you for your lovely comments.
Thanks for the offer of a coffee Renee - I would love to do that. And Lisa I will email you about our get together.