losing it.. slowly reaching the end of my tether....
image borrowed from here
I am sick.. again.. since mid June i have had two chest infections, two heavy colds and shingles... on top of this I have crappy thyroid levels and really low iron... so today I am feeling sorry for myself.
I am also have a sick 4 year old... who is also on her second (or third) chest infection and cold... and a 9 year old who is feeling yuck too. The 4 year old has also adopted a major personality change and we are now being punished for four and a half years of a perfect little girl... although maybe she is also sick of being sick and her mum being sick too....
I am taking all the 'right' things... olive leaf, Vitamin C (the expensive gluten free variety), probiotics, asthma meds... yep, shake me and I rattle.
And just because I feel so crappy, my hubby has gone to NZ today for the weekend... lucky for some. I have to somehow look after myself and three kids while I feel like crap. I feel really envious, resentful and annoyed... terrible aren't I. But Im grumpy and sick, oh yeah and its that time of the month (which is probably over sharing!).
Im also homesick and feeling a bit lonely.
I am wondering through all this what lesson I am supposed to be learning. Its hard to think clearly when you feel like your brain is pouring out your nose or when you cough it feels like your lung is jumping out of your chest. But Im sure this is a lesson and I will grow from it... eventually.
Yes, I am trying hard to put it into perspective. I feel so much guilt feeling sorry for myself because there are always people in far worst circumstances. But for today, I am going to let myself wallow in self pity.
So Im going to drag my sorry butt to the kitchen to cook the kids some nice healthy (not) pies for dinner.... I see a weekend of easy meals ahead... oh the mummy guilt!!!!
I will probably delete this post because I dont like posting about the crappy times and when I feel better I will look at it and groan. But there you have it - the bad and the ugly.
* dont forget to enter my giveaway here.. I promise it will come without free of bugs and irritability.