As the Around the Table Bloggers conference approaches in a few days, my anxiety levels are rising and panic attacks are bubbling around the surface making me think it would be easier to pull out than to put myself in a social situation where I may feel out of place...or worse still, invisible *gasp*.
Don't get me wrong, I am in awe of those Christchurch girls. I have utter admiration for them. They are so amazing with what they have pulled together. Utterly amazing.
And there are so many bloggers I want to meet in real life. So many.
I just feel my blogging has been a little... um... absent. My connecting through commenting has been, um... absent. My blog reading -- in the same category.
So much has been happening for us ... the international move was so intense, trying so hard to get on top of a bowel infection, living out of a suitcase (again) at my in laws, testing me to all my limits.
A couple of weeks ago I was worried about what I was going to wear and then I got over that and decided to just wear what I'm comfortable in. But now it's about being comfortable in my own skin.
The reality is we are all coming from our different REAL lives with our REAL selves on show. It's a little painful to reveal those things we can hide on our blogs...
Like my little toes have no toe nails? yes, really.
I know from experience that I LOVE bloggers, especially those I meet in real life, so please come and say hello on the weekend. I'm pretty good at covering up my insecurities most of the time, with loudness and inappropriate laughter, but just know I will be a quivering mess underneath it all.